Office Romance: How much beneficial for Mens

1. If you did hook up, would you hide it?

A) I’d let her decide if and when we go public

This a wise move. If she’s the one to disclose it, you’re less likely to be blamed for any backlash. But get your statement out soon after: spare the details and make it clear you want to keep your private life just that.

B) We’d discuss it and break the news together

This isn’t marriage; office flings are pretty common. A Lovehoney survey found less than half of workplace encounters are disclosed. “Keep it clandestine until you’ve been together for at least six weeks,” says sexual psychologist Paul Wilson.

C) I’d be boasting about it the morning after

Nor is this school. Postcoital bragging aint cool. Too late? Make it clear to her friends you had feelings for her. That way tactless comments simply look like a self-defence mechanism.

9 Signs He's the Guy You Should Marry

2. How many women work in your office?

A) She’s the only one, but she’s more than enough

The reduced pool could be clouding your judgement. Deploy distancing tactics: take separate lunch hours and put a stop to idle kitchen chitchat. If you’re uncertain about your true feelings, chances are you have none.

B) I’d say the gender split is roughly 50/50

It’s the right environment for you to make a move. Over the course of a week, note the number of times she initiates conversation with you. If it averages three or more a day – and she’s not just hassling you for sales updates – you’re clear to plan your approach.

C) It’s like a sultan’s harem and I’m Ali Baba

Keep your confidence on the right side of arrogance. Make a point of learning each woman’s name and make eye contact when you speak. Research in The Economist found this makes you more approachable and popular.

3. If you met her outside work, you would…

A) Tell her how much you enjoy working with her

Use this time to form a personal bond. Joke about shared experiences; don’t analyse the recent software update.

B) Buy her a drink; maybe attempt to flirt a little

Flirting benefits from strategy. “Don’t pretend you haven’t seen her,” says dating psychologist Rob King. “Walk over and offer her a drink: a Gin Martini or Old Fashioned shows you know your way around a bar.”

C) Gabble like a teenager at a school disco

If you default to nervous chatter, you need to rewire the way you think about her, says King. Spend a month firming up relationships with other women in the office – it’ll increase your confidence.

4. How much time do you spend together?

A) She calls me into her office every now and then

So she’s the boss. Well, you’re only human – we’re psychologically wired to chase things we can’t have, and this is doubly true of men with high testosterone. But trying it on with the woman who signs off your pay cheque is a sure way to a sharp slide down the greasy pole. Leave your feelings at her office door before you scupper any chance of a promotion.

B) She sits opposite me. And shares my Haribo

They say familiarity breeds contempt. It also creates false attraction. If you’re looking at her all day, it’s your hormones talking, not your head. List her major flaws, then make a note of five people more attractive. Your mind will be drawn back to the list every time it starts to wander.

C) I see her around the building most days

“Do your research: what department does she work for? What does she specialise in? Once you have the answers, your opening chat will be easier,” says King. “It builds trust too.” Friday drinks are about to become a lot more fun.

5. Does she eat cereal at her desk?

A) I don’t know. I’m not allowed in her office

For the last time, you’re not James Bond. Like we said, if you can’t get past her office threshold, you won’t get anywhere near her bedroom door. Set your sights less senior.

B) Yes. Special K too, so she must be hot, right?

A multitude of studies prove conclusively that no genuinely hot girl ever eats breakfast cereal at her desk. All right, it’s just us saying it. But it’s true. Especially if the cereal is Shreddies, Coco Pops or anything in a neon box. You don’t need us to tell you to swerve the girl with milk on her chin.

C) I doubt it. It’s just not something she’d do

You work with a stunner. Your most prudent tactic is a well worded email: one that won’t cause an HR shitstorm. “Initiate work-related chat, then suggest meeting for coffee,” says psychologist Justin Duwe. “The speed of her response will tell you if the feeling is reciprocated.” After the coffee, ask her out again. Having met on work terms, there’ll be no awkward rejection – or tribunal risk.

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