Everyone and their moms have been asking you if you plan on tying the knot anytime soon. But even when the love, passion, and commitment are there, it can be hard to tell whether or not this is it. Our advice? Look out for these nine signs—backed by experts and research—that you're with someone who is marriage material:
He didn’t flip out when you divulged your credit card debt.
When you dropped a pretty substantial bomb, he didn't shy away, freeze up, or get angry—he was rational and helpful. "It shows a level of maturity, acceptance, and openness," says relationship expert Jenn Berman, Psy.D., host of VH1's Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn. And all of these are crucial factors in a significant other. “A partner is husband material if he’s accepting of your struggles, such as your debt, and lets you know he’s around to help you through it."
When you dropped a pretty substantial bomb, he didn't shy away, freeze up, or get angry—he was rational and helpful. "It shows a level of maturity, acceptance, and openness," says relationship expert Jenn Berman, Psy.D., host of VH1's Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn. And all of these are crucial factors in a significant other. “A partner is husband material if he’s accepting of your struggles, such as your debt, and lets you know he’s around to help you through it."
He encourages girls’ night.
You don't feel guilty taking a night (or a week-long beach vacation) away from your partner to focus on friends. And more importantly, he's supportive of this. In fact, experts say taking a little break from your spouse every now and then is totally healthy. “He wants you to have your independence. He realizes that in order to feel fulfilled you need an identity outside of 'girlfriend,'" says sex and relationship expert Logan Levkoff, Ph.D.
You don't feel guilty taking a night (or a week-long beach vacation) away from your partner to focus on friends. And more importantly, he's supportive of this. In fact, experts say taking a little break from your spouse every now and then is totally healthy. “He wants you to have your independence. He realizes that in order to feel fulfilled you need an identity outside of 'girlfriend,'" says sex and relationship expert Logan Levkoff, Ph.D.
He could pen your bio.
Your pillow talk is filled with Q&As, and you're still learning a ton about each other. He may already know what makes you happy, but he also continues to ask in-depth questions about you all the time—from your passions and dreams to your childhood. “This is a core factor that shows a depth of a relationship and a desire to understand you," says Berman.
Your pillow talk is filled with Q&As, and you're still learning a ton about each other. He may already know what makes you happy, but he also continues to ask in-depth questions about you all the time—from your passions and dreams to your childhood. “This is a core factor that shows a depth of a relationship and a desire to understand you," says Berman.
He accepts your social circle.
A lifelong relationship often means blending your friend groups, so it's imperative that he genuinely supports the friendships that are important to you. That includes getting along with your girlfriends and not feeling threatened or uncomfortable by your male friends, says Levkoff.
A lifelong relationship often means blending your friend groups, so it's imperative that he genuinely supports the friendships that are important to you. That includes getting along with your girlfriends and not feeling threatened or uncomfortable by your male friends, says Levkoff.
He talks through conflict.
You want to spend forever with someone who's not afraid to have the hard conversations. “It’s not that you don’t have conflict, it’s that he doesn’t run away when you do,” says Berman. “It shows he’s invested in you and in the relationship. It shows commitment and that he has a level of maturity that is important in a long-term relationship." So it's a good sign if your partner sticks around and works through a problem when it arises—instead of blowing it off, asking for space, or turning off his phone.
He's up for a good chick flick every now and then.
Sure, it shows he knows how to pick his battles (we cannot watch Die Hardevery single weekend), but a recent study also found that watching rom-coms together can actually strengthen your bond. (Seriously.) Couples who watched movies with romantic undertones and discussed them were less likely to get divorced than other couples. So if you and your partner already do this, it's a good sign for the future.
Sure, it shows he knows how to pick his battles (we cannot watch Die Hardevery single weekend), but a recent study also found that watching rom-coms together can actually strengthen your bond. (Seriously.) Couples who watched movies with romantic undertones and discussed them were less likely to get divorced than other couples. So if you and your partner already do this, it's a good sign for the future.
He feels strongly about fidelity.
This may seem like an obvious one, but it's worth reiterating. Recent research shows that people who have cheated once are 3.5 times more likely to cheat on a subsequent partner. This doesn't mean someone isn'tmarriage material if they've cheated in the past, but experts suggest having a serious discussion about your partner's views on fidelity if that's the case.
This may seem like an obvious one, but it's worth reiterating. Recent research shows that people who have cheated once are 3.5 times more likely to cheat on a subsequent partner. This doesn't mean someone isn'tmarriage material if they've cheated in the past, but experts suggest having a serious discussion about your partner's views on fidelity if that's the case.
His buddies are all tying the knot.
If it seems like you're going with him to more weddings than all-night happy hours, it probably means he's starting to think about settling down, too. “We hang out with people who are developmentally at our level," says Berman. "So when all our friends are getting married, it makes it less scary for us."
If it seems like you're going with him to more weddings than all-night happy hours, it probably means he's starting to think about settling down, too. “We hang out with people who are developmentally at our level," says Berman. "So when all our friends are getting married, it makes it less scary for us."
You feel like he's The One
We could give you a whole checklist of traits to cross off, but it's often your gut that will reveal how you truly feel. And according to research, that's actually a pretty good measure of a strong bond. In fact, gut feelings predicted future relationship happiness better than self-reported feelings, according to a 2013 study.
We could give you a whole checklist of traits to cross off, but it's often your gut that will reveal how you truly feel. And according to research, that's actually a pretty good measure of a strong bond. In fact, gut feelings predicted future relationship happiness better than self-reported feelings, according to a 2013 study.
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