Maybe you remembered it from a chick flick, saw it in a porn clip, or heard about
it from one of your more adventurous friends. It was an enticing sex tip or mysterious position that sounded insanely hot, so you obviously tried it…and it bombed. If you've ever tried one of these seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time sex moves, then you know exactly what we're talking about. If you haven't, well, don't say we didn't warn you:
Sex on the Dryer
The goal is to go all Varsity Blues and sexily hop up on the dryer so you can get the extra vibrations while your partner is thrusting. In reality, your butt is totally numb and sweating and your guy is on his tip-toes trying to enter you at the right angle, because this dryer is definitely not the right height. Fail.
The goal is to go all Varsity Blues and sexily hop up on the dryer so you can get the extra vibrations while your partner is thrusting. In reality, your butt is totally numb and sweating and your guy is on his tip-toes trying to enter you at the right angle, because this dryer is definitely not the right height. Fail.
Whipped Cream All Over Your Body
Speaking of ill-advised sex tips from Varsity Blues, every woman everywhere has considered the whipped cream bikini (or the whipped cream one piece a la The Mindy Project). But what starts sexy quickly becomes so sticky and messy. Plus, you get that stuff too close to your privates and you may as well call up your gyno now to warn her of your impending yeast infection.
Speaking of ill-advised sex tips from Varsity Blues, every woman everywhere has considered the whipped cream bikini (or the whipped cream one piece a la The Mindy Project). But what starts sexy quickly becomes so sticky and messy. Plus, you get that stuff too close to your privates and you may as well call up your gyno now to warn her of your impending yeast infection.
Sex on the Beach
You know how you always seem to get sand everywhere when you're at the beach? Yeah, that's without having sex on a towel. Unless you have a secluded cabana on a deserted beach that's raised at least a foot off the sand, this will never be injury-free—or legal, for that matter.
Hooking Up in the Bar Bathroom
Because sneaking away from the crowd to get it on is so hot, right? Wrong. That bathroom is terrifying and cramped for one person—let alone two. Plus, you don't want to touch anything, so you would need to have the balance of a Cirque du Soleil performer to pull this off. Call a cab and head home to your bed.
Because sneaking away from the crowd to get it on is so hot, right? Wrong. That bathroom is terrifying and cramped for one person—let alone two. Plus, you don't want to touch anything, so you would need to have the balance of a Cirque du Soleil performer to pull this off. Call a cab and head home to your bed.
69
Consider this the overachiever of sex positions. We get it: Why wait turns when you can both give oral at the same time? We'll tell you why. First, if you're not the same height, you're already fighting an uphill battle. Second, these angles will be flattering for no one. And third, you're usually too preoccupied to even appreciate how good anything feels. Just settle down and take turns.
Consider this the overachiever of sex positions. We get it: Why wait turns when you can both give oral at the same time? We'll tell you why. First, if you're not the same height, you're already fighting an uphill battle. Second, these angles will be flattering for no one. And third, you're usually too preoccupied to even appreciate how good anything feels. Just settle down and take turns.
Shower Sex
This is a tricky one, because we want it to work so badly. It always starts out hot, but when you get into the actual logistics, it can get awkward fast. First, all of that water is going to wash away any natural wetness, like, instantly. Then you'll notice that whoever isn't under the shower will befreezing. And finally, you realize that you really need to clean your shower walls because holy slippery tiles. Ugh, just hand us a towel.
This is a tricky one, because we want it to work so badly. It always starts out hot, but when you get into the actual logistics, it can get awkward fast. First, all of that water is going to wash away any natural wetness, like, instantly. Then you'll notice that whoever isn't under the shower will befreezing. And finally, you realize that you really need to clean your shower walls because holy slippery tiles. Ugh, just hand us a towel.
Sex in a Pool or Hot Tub
We know it's tempting, but your gyno will tell you otherwise. Three words: Urinary Tract Infections. Getting it on in the water makes you way more susceptible to UTIs and STDs. Not to mention a condom can't withstand the chlorine from pool water.
We know it's tempting, but your gyno will tell you otherwise. Three words: Urinary Tract Infections. Getting it on in the water makes you way more susceptible to UTIs and STDs. Not to mention a condom can't withstand the chlorine from pool water.
Hand Jobs
In theory it seems pretty simple, straightforward, and effective. In reality, you probably can't beat a man's own technique. Seriously, they're just awkward.
In theory it seems pretty simple, straightforward, and effective. In reality, you probably can't beat a man's own technique. Seriously, they're just awkward.
Surfboarding
Endorsed by Beyoncé, frowned upon by your gynecologist. This move, where you get into reverse cowgirl position in the tub, just isn't a good idea. Again, your risk of UTIs goes way up when you're having sex in the bath. Not to mention your natural lubrication disappears and your bathroom becomes a flood zone.
Endorsed by Beyoncé, frowned upon by your gynecologist. This move, where you get into reverse cowgirl position in the tub, just isn't a good idea. Again, your risk of UTIs goes way up when you're having sex in the bath. Not to mention your natural lubrication disappears and your bathroom becomes a flood zone.
Him Holding You While Standing
There's no question it's hot for your partner to scoop you up while you're having sex. The problem here is that they're slightly afraid of dropping you and you're seriously afraid of falling. Also, this one is really all on him—aside from wrapping your legs around him and holding on tight, there's not much can you contribute here.
There's no question it's hot for your partner to scoop you up while you're having sex. The problem here is that they're slightly afraid of dropping you and you're seriously afraid of falling. Also, this one is really all on him—aside from wrapping your legs around him and holding on tight, there's not much can you contribute here.
Sex at Your Parents' House
It seems hot in a taboo way, but really, it's just weird and risky. You'll end up being awkwardly silent and wishing like hell you had taken down that ridiculous Titanic poster in your old bedroom decades ago.https://www.facebook.com/pages/Amazing-World/185479054881938
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